Sunday, July 27, 2008

Pathetic Anger Bread (1)

For all the Shakers out there, here is my take on what pathetic anger bread should be...

It is flat (except where it puffs up into hollow bubbles). It is dry and brittle (you don't have to push it far before it snaps). The flavours are strong and biting. It contains seeds, the better to get stuck in your teeth and cause irritation later. The dough is ripped up into irregular scraps rather than cut out into neat rounds, because we're all about promoting diversity of shapes, and pathetic anger bread is by definition liberal and sharp-edged. And it would go wonderfully with a topping of jellied eel I am sure (though we're all out of it right now, so I have not tested it myself).

(A more conventional description would be "black pepper and caraway biscuits". Use to dip in houmous or a mild dip, or top with creamy butter or a mild cheese such as Wensleydale. Or both.)

For two small baking sheets-worth (number depends on how big your final ripped up pieces are, obviously):
  • 100g plain flour
  • 50g cornmeal (makes them drier and grittier, but just use more plain flour if you have none)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon caraway seeds
  • 25g cold butter
  • 60ml hot milk
  • Preheat the oven to 200°C. Mix flours and salt together. Crush the black peppercorns in a pestle and mortar until coarsely ground (go on, bash them like you mean it - this is anger bread, after all!), then measure out 1 teaspoon into the flour mix. Give the caraway seeds a quick bash and then add them too to the dry mixture. Add the butter and rub in. Heat the milk until steaming then stir into the rest. Roll out on a floured surface, almost as thin as a coin. Rip into rough but reasonably even pieces, thinking 2-3 bites for each, taking pleasure in throwing off the shackles of conformity and uniformity. Place on lined baking trays and bake in the oven for about 5 minutes until turning brown (some of them will have puffed up a bit in places). Obviously, the timing depends on how big the biscuits you have created are. Transfer to a wire rack to cool as soon as they come out of the oven.

    Then, go ahead - feed the trolls!


    Neil' said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    Neil' said...

    Hi Eleanor, I surfed in from Cosmic Variance after reading your cogent comment. I like the idea of "pathetic anger bread" - Yes, I feel pathetic and I am angry ...what a time it is now, to nibble on such a repast with grumpy feelings of loss or schadenfreude (depending upon whether you feel worse about your own situation or more inclined to rejoice in the fall of titans ...)

    Anonymous said...

    Please do not feed the trolls! I think we ought to keep all the pathetic anger bread for our fat lol...

    Anonymous said...

    unlock iphone 4
    how to unlock iphone 4

    unlock iphone 4 how to unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4
    unlock iphone 4

    how to unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4 [url=]unlock iphone 4 [/url] unlock iphone 4

    Anonymous said...

    Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this blog
    and I am impressed! Very useful information particularly the closing phase :
    ) I handle such info a lot. I used to be seeking this particular info for a
    very long time. Thank you and best of luck.
    Here is my web site - unlock iphone 4s verizon

    Anonymous said...

    Hey fantastic blog! Does running a blog such as this take
    a large amount of work? I have no knowledge of computer
    programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog soon.
    Anyhow, should you have any ideas or techniques for new blog owners please share.
    I know this is off topic however I just wanted to ask. Many thanks!
    My web blog - unlock iphone 4s at&t

    Anonymous said...

    Wonderful article! This is the type of information that are meant to be shared across the net.
    Disgrace on the search engines for no longer positioning this put up upper!
    Come on over and discuss with my site . Thank you =)

    Stop by my web site; followers buy twitter

    Anonymous said...

    Hi there, I ԁo thіnk your blog cοuld
    ρosѕibly be hаvіng wеb bгoωser
    cоmpatibilіty problems. Wheneveг I lοοκ at your
    web sitе in Safari, іt loоκѕ fіne however, when oрening in IE, it hаs ѕome
    oѵerlаpping іssueѕ. Ι simply ωаntеd to give you a quiсκ heads up!
    Other than that, wοndeгful blog!

    Looκ at my blog: premature ejaculation pills

    Anonymous said...

    Heya just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few
    of the pictures aren't loading correctly. I'm not sure why but I think
    its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

    my web page; kitchen remodeling

    Anonymous said...

    I was гeсommеndеd this ωebsite by mу сousіn.
    I'm not positive whether or not this submit is written by way of him as nobody else recognise such precise about my trouble. You're incrеdible!
    Thanκ you!

    Feel fгee to surf to my hοmeрage :
    : cheap party pills

    Anonymous said...

    Hi i am kavіn, itѕ my fiгst time to
    commenting аnyωhеre, whеn i
    гead this рaгagraph i thought i сοuld also сreаtе
    cоmment due tо this sensіble

    Ηave a loοk at my homepage - herbal highs online